Mediation is the "voluntary process of resolving disputes. In theory, parents voluntarily agree to meet in mediation. However, in divorce cases, judges frequently order parents to participate in three sessions of mediation if they cannot agree on a parenting plan. Judges believe parents know their children best, and judges want to give parents every opportunity to make decisions regarding what is best for their children. The emotional nature of divorce often prevents parents from meeting together calmly and focusing on the needs of their children.
The mediator controls the process of communication between the two parties which allows them to explore the dispute in a neutral setting, identify the needs of the children involved, and brainstorm options for resolving the disagreements. The mediator is not a judge who can force the two parties to reach an agreement, and the mediator does not give legal advice.
Mediation can be formal or informal.
- Formal mediation typically is court-ordered by a judge and has a review date which establishes a time line for completion. Formal mediation usually requires a "Memorandum of Understanding" to be reviewed by attorneys and submitted by the parents or their attorneys to the judge.
- Informal mediation typically is initiated by one or both parents when the parents wish to avoid excessive legal fees, get a head start prior to filing divorce paperwork, or seek mediation to an existing custody decree.
